Top 5 reasons you aren't happy and why

All the rain we've been having recently has brought with it several "rainy" metaphors. Just the other day I read that "Life is not about waiting for the storms to pass but rather learning how to dance in the rain!" How profound! Then on Wednesday a customer of mine said she loves when it rains because she pretends that God is getting ready to make dinner for her. "How else are the fruits and vegetables going to grow?", she said. Interesting. It's very true that how we look at situations, interpret occurrences and then talk about these things affects our mood or better yet our level of happiness more than anything else. But I also believe that God designed us to experience pain so that we can know when we are headed in the wrong direction. Pain doesn't always mean that we are headed in the wrong direction but it can and here's how to know it. And I believe the top 5 reasons why sometimes........ you aren't happy.

Your head is full and your body is empty- We all need deep sleep. Notice I wrote "need" and "deep". If you're not getting enough deep sleep, and only you know what is enough, then you are twice as susceptible to depression, temptation, falling back into old bad habits, complaining and laziness. Skip the pills and wine before bed. Instead try this. Write down or type out your thoughts, dreams and concerns. It's ok to write anything! Empty your head! Always end with "better is on the way" and "it's all gonna work out". It's also ok to write down how far you've come and things you are proud of. Heck write down "I didn't steal anything or kill anybody today", that's a positive demonstration of self control! Your body is still empty (and weak) Now that you have emptied your head, fill your body. Fill it with live food. (in the morning of course) Your body is alive and actually re-energizes and feeds off of other living organisms. You know that from your 5th grade science class. Eat raw fruit, green vegetables and almonds. In scientific experiments almonds actually give off 5 times more energy than foods that come from a box like crackers, cookies or chips. And finally fill your body back up with good oxygen. Did you know that shallow breathing or more importantly shallow exhaling only rids your lungs of 80% of the bad oxygen? That's the oxygen your body stores and reuses. Can you imagine reusing the oil in your car engine after 5,000 miles or reusing the milk left in your cereal bowl for a week straight? Yuck! So don't reuse your oxygen. Get rid of and replenish that old oxygen with super deep exhales. The best way to do that of course is with cardio exercise. I don't want to hear that you hate running because we are going to discover a movement that you like to do right now! Jump rope, swim, do sexual thrusts in the mirror, ride a bike, climb a hill, take the stairs, play Wii sports while jogging in place, chase your dog, run wind sprints every time you swear or roller blade. (I think that about covers it) Only 2 things to remember here. First is to find a motion that you enjoy doing and do it over and over again. That is the key to exercise and I will blog much more about that soon! Second, when you exhale keep blowing that air out deeper than you normally would. Practice right now for 10 seconds! Through your nose only, take a regular breath in. Still using your nose only now exhale. When you feel you are done, wait and blow the rest out with your mouth! Keep blowing out! Feel that extra 20 percent being released for 2 more seconds? That's your old recylced air, get rid of it! Now take a deep breathe in through your nose again , breathe deep and exhale through your nose. Once again when you feel your chest sink and your are ready to breathe in again, don't! Instead open your mouth and blow out that extra 20% for 2 more seconds. That's what happens when you exercise and I promise you'll feel an amazing difference in as little as one day!

Unresolved issues in relationships- Type out an email saying whatever you want but don't send it. Or send it to me and pretend like I'm that person. Write a letter and write everything that comes into your mind! For once, no filter! Write out all those things you wish you would have said or could say now. Actually put a stamp on it to validate it but without an address. Don't put the address and skip the stamp thinking they won't deliver it. One time the nicest postal worker decided to deliver one of my practice release letters without the stamp. Wow, what a surprise when the recipient called me! That's for another blog. This is for you! Release it! Ahhhhhhhh!

You have moved away from your core values- Cleaning your 4 bedroom house? Washing 2 cars? Feeding 6 mouths? Trying to please 3 bosses, 2 lovers and 3 kids? Managing 2 checking accounts and 1 diminishing savings account? Sounds nothing like what you dreamed about when you were in high school or college does it? What "fires you up"? Painting, cooking, hiking, serving in church, teaching little kids, playing baseball or duct taping cats to railroad tracks? Get back to it! Now!! Take baby steps, blog, write 3 goals and do one right now, network, facetwit it, buy a book about it, wake up 1 hour earlier than usual and just go do "it" without telling anyone. Like Nike says "Just Do It". No one is judging your progress except you so when you begin taking baby steps you have nothing to judge but progress, positive change and accomplishment!

You are looking at the glass half empty- Age old sayings are age old because they are true and accurate regardless of how we evolve and how open minded society becomes. (some are so open minded their brains have fallen out of their heads) Every gray cloud has a silver lining. Wait it'll reveal itself at the right time. Tell yourself "it could always be worse, look how far I've come" and the hardest one..... ask yourself "what's good about this situation?" If the glass if half empty then it's also still half full. Many people burn for that half. Thank God you have it!

You're telling yourself the wrong story- Nothing lasts forever right? So why do we subconsciously tell ourselves that? Starting an exercise program, going to that dreadful job on Monday, marriage counseling, helping a friend move? It's only temporary. So remind yourself with "This too shall pass", "Nothing lasts forever" and "Better is on the way!" Ever have someone ask you "if you hate it so much then why are going?"Your response is most likely "because I have to!" Stop telling yourself you "have to." Even if it's fake tell yourself "I want to or I choose to". Then in the midst of this task that you get to do take a short break and do something else that you really choose to. I really don't like to clean my condo. And I hate dusting! Instead of saying "I have to clean today", I say "I get to clean my awesome condo and blast my music!" In the middle of cleaning I always take a short break and play a video game for 10 minutes and then get right back to cleaning. Next time you get to help a friend move, take a break and go shopping for some new clothes. Do both and enjoy the day!

I hope this helps you! May you smile more today than you did yesterday. May you breathe better, laugh harder and sleep deeper!